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Daily Archives: September 9, 2014

In Pattern

In Pattern. Or, rather Back In Pattern. Or, rather, I am Back In Pattern. That was a term I heard a lot at a former job. The term meant that a client was back into a pattern of behavior that had been deemed harmful. Example: A recovering alcoholic who slipped and had a weekend drinking binge. We all have “bad habits”. Smoking, drinking, gossip, over-eating or lying. Often we develop bad habits to combat some type of behavior. Gary Moon, a former professor of mine, used to call them behavior narcotics. They could be anything we use to combat or compensate for a shortcoming. Personally, I use busyness as a way to escape my anxiety. I have overloaded my schedule without thinking because I want to please people or escape something unpleasant. I secretly hate to be still because then I am more likely to listen to my anxious thoughts and anxious heart. When I purposely slow down, I am forced to listen. My body has really started craving those slow down moments. Part of my soul screams for rest and for silence, but then the anxiety starts creeping in when I am still. I know that…